I know now what I really really want for my birthday..
I want to be always healthy and normal.
I do not want to be so vulnerable and always sick. =(
I sick all the time. Since I was still a little girl. And I dunno why.
I always feel like I'm gonna die very verry soon. =(
I'm very weak, you know. And I always feel like I'm gonna die at the age so young! Oh God..please let me live longer! I wanna have babies and kids like Ayra and Hariz! And I wanna see my kids going to schools and later get married and have babies too!
I know I'm not supposed to think about my illnesses and to always think about happiness.. but I just can't help it la.. I mean, how can I think positively when that thing always strikes?
Every other day I must have at least one condition of abnormal functioning. Sakit perut la, sakit dada la, pening kepala, nak pitam la, sakit mata, sakit buah pinggang la, sakit jantung, sakit kulit la, takleh nafas la, takleh tido la, luka sana sini la...terjatuh la, terlanggar orang/benda la...etc. etc. Ada aje benda yang nak jadi.. haihh.. =(
Dear God, please let me live longer. I know, the doctors said I'm normal. Nothing's wrong with my body except for the minor things la. But somehow I just feel so damn abnormal. Normal people don't always feel so weak, do they?
Oh.. what's wrong with my body??! I'm still young, but yet my body shows signals like I am an old lady.. =(
Maybe I do seem normal. Tapi kat dalam, sape tahu? And because of this (selalu sakit), I always feel so insecure with people. Because usually people always say something like menyusahkan la, and whatsoever towards me. Sebab bila saya sakit, mereka malas nak layan. Sebab terlalu selalu sangat kot. Orang pun bosan. Tapi takpe lah. Nazirah ada. Dia sorang je yang paham. Yang lain2, selalu marah atau menyampah atau buat tak tahu ataupun gelakkan saya bila jantung saya sakit..
Saya tak mintak belas kasihan la. Tapi saya mintak faham condition saya je. Bukan sindiran atau nak marah atau apa2 sekali pun yang menyedihkan saya. =(
haih... tak tau la.
Honey, please bear with me...
=(
Wani.