Friday, August 30, 2013

The Merisik

So after I've preached the "Road to a Malay Wedding" lesson to my man.. (as if he wasn't a Malay, that he didn't know anything about our culture! haha) He asked me whether I wanted to get married straight - without getting engaged first, or whether I still want to get engaged even though I've had a bad experience last time. He knew how traumatized I was with everything that happened. So, he didn't really mind with any decision I make..

Well at first, I didn't want to get engaged again. I just wanted to get married with him and settle down as soon as possible and be his lawfully wedded wife. Cuz back then, I kinda hate hearing the word "bertunang" actually. Cuz it sounds..."unconfirmed", to me somehow. Probably because I never really got the chance to feel the sweetness of being engaged or being someone's fiancee or something like that. So I was afraid that I would hurt again... But after talking about it..and discuss a few things, his words has changed my mind a little bit. Haha - Pandai mengayat budak ni! LOL. He said to me, "Well honestly sayang, if you ask me, of course I want to have a proper planning and a proper Malay wedding with all those stages you explained to me. It'd be nice to have all that, especially when I'm marrying the girl of my dreams. It's a once-in-a-life-time thing, inshaallah. But then again, I know it's not fair for you and your family to do yet another engagement ceremony, especially when they have spent a lot last time. Like you said lah, in a Malay wedding,  the girl side would spend and do more than the guy side.. So I totally understand if you don't want to have another engagement.  But...... honestly sayang, I do want to call you my fiancee instead of "just my girlfriend". Cuz you knowww, fiancee sounds more special than the word "girlfriend", right? hehehe. Cuz you ARE special to me, sayang. I would love to introduce you as "My Fiancee" to my friends or people in general. And I definitely cannot wait to call you "my wife" pulak nanti. Yang tu laaaaagiii lah special. hehehe. But well, it's up to you. I'm fine with anything that would make you happy. We could just do the Merisik thing, and get married straight also I don't mind, just as long as we get married and halal for each other. Ok? And you should also know this: I would never hurt you, I love you very much and I want you to be whatever your decision is, I'm okay with it.."

Awwwwwwww.... I cried hearing that. He is such a sweetheart. Or should I say a sweet talker? haha

So long story short, last April the Merisik session happened. He had been telling me that he wanted to send his family to get to know my family for quite a few times already since February. So finally, the day has come. I remembered one night he called me up and said, "Okay sayang... like we have discussed before, I think I'm ready to send my family to go and visit yours. Let them get to know each other, before we proceed for the next level. So darling...can we set an exact date and time for the rombongan merisik to come to your house so I can discuss it with my family? Probably next weekend?"  --- After putting down the phone, I remembered I cried like a baby that night. I never thought I would feel that way. I know it was just a simple conversation, nothing to shed a tear about. But it felt sooooo different, I can't really explain... I didn't felt nervous. I didn't felt like I was unsure. I didn't felt like I was being forced.  I didn't felt like I didn't have any say in it. I didn't felt like running away. I didn't felt alone. I didn't felt weird. I didn't have a strange feelings. And I wasn't scared. Like I did last time. 

In fact, I was really really happy - So happy that I burst into tears! Only God knows how happy I am and how blessed I feel to have someone like him in my life. Thank you Allah. (Ni baru merisik punya perasaan. Dah kawen nanti, tak tahulah macam mana perasaan tu nanti! Heee)

Anyway, the first person that I told about this was Farhana. And she was happy too! Awwww... ^___^

Inshaallah. Amin.

So on the 7th of April 2013, at 3 pm, his family came to our house... There were 8 people from his side who came that day. It wasn't was just an intimate session between the two families. But I was so excited nevertheless! :)

I wore my mint green Nurita Harith baju kurung with a lace skirt I bought the night before, at Pavilion.

So during their discussions, I was upstairs sitting happily in my room while reading a Brides magazine (haha yess... Straight away read a wedding mag! Too excited. LOL ;p)

I asked my brother to go downstairs and take their photos while they were discussing...or maybe a video too so I can hear what they were talking about... haha. But he was just so lazy and said, "Don't be so semangat. It's only merisik la. Pfffft", and shut his door before I could answer him.

Hmmph. it's not jusssssst merisik okay? It's the "Road to MY wedding!" - the one thing I've been waiting for in my wholeeee life, I said to myself. hahaha. Dramatic much? ;p

So then I went downstairs to see what's going on with my own eyes, since my brother couldn't be bothered to help me out and rather play with his game than hearing some conversations about weddings. Pffft. Men! huhuu. So anyways, after we've exchanged our hantaran, which were some fruits, cake, chocs, etc.. it was time to eat!

Done discussing and exchanging the gifts... Now let's eat!

He used to call me his "risikan" instead of his girlfriend - I'm not even sure if there's such a word! hahah

Mom made her delicious Soto and some Malay kuih that Sunday

The theme was Batik. Everyone wore Batik except me, cuz I don't have any. Mom came up with this idea since all the other events/ceremonies that we will have after this regarding the wedding, we would all be wearing the traditional Baju Melayu/Baju Kurung

So these are the little gifts a.k.a hantaran..

From me to him: a bowl of Godiva chocs, some fruits and a Red Velvet cake that I purchased/ordered online (can't remember from which website now..haha)

From him to me: a classic tepak sirih, a band ring or "belah rotan" as the Malay called... and a basket of chocolates as well.

Farhana came that day! With her darling Yusuf!
(thanks for coming babe!)

I like this pic of us.. And she looked so pretty that day!

I can't decide whether I want a yellow gold or rose gold or white gold ring for this merisik ring (I love all gold by the way. So I want to have a variety of gold - Not just the white gold). So because my engagement and my wedding ring would be in white gold, and my promise ring is in rose gold...and my other ring that I got is in yellow gold, I have decided that my merisik ring would be in all three gold! So it'll complement any ring that I have now and in the future, when I wear any of the rings! haha. Hence, I chose the Trinity ring that consists of a yellow, rose and a white gold! - Happy!!

First step is done! I'm a risikan orang now. haha

Will continue with the second step soon! Stay tune! ;)



  1. congratulations to you!! :) may this road to a malay wedding goes on smoothly and awesomely.

  2. Salam wanie.

    congrats!! actually after majlis risik, you dah boleh dipanggil tunang to your man..hehehe.. kalau kat Kelantan, majlis risik tu dah macam majlis tunang.. pergi tunang together dengan merisik.. hehehe.. tapi actually depends jugak la.. ada yang buat asing2..

    congrats dear..

  3. congrats, I'm happy for u =D

  4. Lahh jd sedara la kita. yg baju batik warna merah tu is my brother

  5. Congrats wani. Semoga dipermudahkan semua urusan perkahwinan sampai ke Jannah! (I'm smiling reading this post) ahaks.reader pulak yg feeling lebih.

    Setuju dengan Syima Emi. Just nak share, kalau ikut Islam bila 2 org laki&perempuan dah setuju nak kahwin, memang dh boleh consider Tunang. Engagement ceremony tu just budaya Melayu je kan.

    p/s: tak sabar nak tengok the next stage :)

  6. Congratulations wanie.

    Huih..macam dah kenal u je sebab baca dari awal u blogging sampai la ni nak kawin dah. Hehehe

    I ingat my soon to be fiance je panggil I risikan. I panggil dia perisik. Macam cia gitewwww..

    Btw, jgn stress2 nak kawen. Nanti u demam or sakit kepala masa majlis rugi je u plan beria tapi muka stress.

    Just enjoy. Everything will be fine. (Eyh padahal.sendiri dah stress nak kawen)

  7. Congratulations girl! How did u both meet?


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