Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A friend in need is a friend indeed!

Hi and salam girls! I never really write that much these days, huh? Well, I've been seriously busy with things! Really really sorry....but I will let you know all about it soon! hehe. But anyways...today, I have a little bit of free time, so I'm gonna spare some of my time now to write a bit - Okayyy.. maybe not thattt bit. It's kinda lengthy actually. haha. I'm just bored and don't feel like editing pictures. So words, will do! ;)

Anyway, today's topic is about friends. Let's talk about friendship! This is something that I have been meaning to write in here.. It's something that I learned these past couple of years. And today after I saw something, it just made me wanted to write about it even more :)

Well I came across a proverb that says a friend in need is a friend indeed! ...which kinda reminds me a lot of things in my life. So today, with my free time noww.. I decided to make a post about what I have learned about friendship! Anyway, have you ever heard of this quote before? A friend in need is a friend indeed! Well, this phrase can have two meanings actually;
  1. It means that one way to know that someone is really a true friend is when they come to you in their time of need. It means that they trust you with their secrets, know you will not judge them for their problems or their inablitity to solve them on their own. That friend knows they can call on you in an emergency. So in helping them, your "deeds" are proof of your friendship! - For example, if I'm home alone and accidentally cut my hand while doing something in the kitchen, I would need a good friend I could call to drive me to the doctor or to the emergency room. And if I choose you, then I am a friend in need who really needs you to be my friend right now! ^__^

  2. Another meaning behind that phrase could also mean someone who only communicates with you when they need something from you. - They call you a friend, but outside of your repeatedly rescuing them, there is nothing more to the relationship! You don't talk or see each other unless it's to solve his or her problem or they needed something from you that you have. Oh, beware my darlings, of these kind of people! They're not a true friend. These are some terrible friends!  O__o
Anyway, in today's world, I really think that it's really hard to find what I call...a TRUE FRIEND. It's kinda like the same situation in relationship when you really wanted to find TRUE LOVE. So I think this is kinda like the same thing with finding a True Friend in friendship!  You may see two or three or four or even ten people being so close with one another in good times, but that maybe just on the surface... You should not judge a person in those good times honey, but in difficult times as well! (this applies to relationship too!) There are different kinds of friends. True and faithful friends, casual friends and false/fake or fair-weather friends, etc! A true and faithful friend has certain qualities, which you should also have! It is correctly said that to have a friend you should be one. Hmm..I don't know about you, but for me...I have many different category and types of what I call "friends":
a) The Social friends - don't really know each other that much. Only hang out a couple of times and talk about crap and stuff.  
b) The Next-Door friends. Neighbours, Co-workers, Schoolmates, etc 
c) The "Biasa-biasa" kind of friend a.k.a Casual Friend - You guys always see each other but don't really share personal or even not-so-personal things. You just know a little bit, here and there about one another 
d) The Hi-Bye friend. Don't know each other at all but recognizes one another from parties, events or whatever, and say "Hi!" (and only "Hi!") to each other when you guys met. haha
e) The Social-Media/Internet friends. Never met. But know each other in the virtual world. Like you and me here. We are friends in this virtual world! So, "Hi friend!" :) 
f) The Only-Gonna-Be-Your-Friend-When-You-Are-Cool-and-Happy-But-Leave-When-You're-Sad-and-Boring! kind of friends.  -__-'
g) The Ass Kisser Friend. Those who only be your very best friend when they want something from you. So they'll show you some reaaallly good qualities in front of you. But betray you later. Pfffffft 
h) The Old Friend 
i) The New Friend 
j) The Imaginary Friend. Erk?    
k) The Fake Friend. Ouch. Beware!!! 
l) The At-The-Moment Friend. These are the type that would only talk or see each other when they're at the same place as you. i.e. living in the same apartment, going to school together, same class/workplace, etc. However, they would ignore / stop communicating with you once you're not in their life anymore. - Unfortunately this happens to most of us. (It's really sad to know how people just leave and lost contact with you just like that, huh? - Especially if you know the person well for years.)
m) The Close Friend. Share everyyyy thing together.
n) The Best Friend or these days they called it as BFF. Know almost everything about you - Waitt..I think this is kinda similar to the above? haha. Whatever ;p
o) The In-Good-Times-and-Bad-Times friend. - Now...this is a real friend
p) The Forever-and-Everrrrr...Till-Death-Do-Us-Part Friends. Woww...really? These people are SO lucky to have a true friend like this! hehe
q) The Bad Times Friends. Okayy..this is not really a friend. This is your enemy. Go away. Haha  
r) The No-Status kind of friend. LOL ;p
s) ETC! 
So there are really a lot of category for "friends" here. But what I like to highlight here today in this post is about REAL friends. From what I learned from my pasts in relationship and friendship, it's best to judge someone you're so close with, when you are in trouble, when you are in need, when you are alone, when you are sick, when you are broke...and et cetera. For me, I personally view friendship a little bit different than others, I guess? Some people might not really care about a friendship. To them, friends are not important. They just view friends...as "justtttt friends", I guess? No "attachment" kind of feelings to the person or whatever. But not me. I cherish my friendship/relationship with whoever that I am so close with. I care about the people I'm around with. But sadly, in this mad, mad world...there are many, many types of people that we need to be aware of. Some are sincere. Some just happens to be...erm.. not so sincere, I guess. We may be having many friends at the time of prosperity. But most of them desert at the time of adversity. We can examine the sincerity of a friend during our time of hardship and trouble. Only a sincere and faithful friend remains with us at the time of our trouble! All others would leave us. It is very painful when our friends turn traitors, huh? tskk.
There are many fair-weathered friends in this world. They terminate their friendly tie as soon as their interests are fulfilled. It is very difficult to find a true friend nowadays, don't you think? I once heard from my lecturer that it is better to establish a true friendship with either a cat or a dog...or a ferret, I would say! haha. Because both these pets or "friends" would remain faithful to their human friends! Tapi dalam dunia kita ni, terlalu banyak jenis manusia...sampai kadang-kadang kita tersalah tafsir atau tak boleh beza, mana satu yang hati bersih, mana satu yang niat baik, mana satu yang ikhlas, etc...bila terlalu banyak sangat benda yang konon nampak macam "real", macam indah, etc. Tapi sebenarnya tidak. This is why you need to start guarding yourself up and not trusting people 100%

The truth is, the world out there is cruel.

Very often some hypocrites pretend to be friends. They are more dangerous than avowed enemies. By telling soft words, by praising you to skies, by being so nice to you, and linger around you as long as you enjoy happiness, wealth, health and power. But when fortune and happiness turns against you, they would be nowhere to be seen! By doing that, they actually bring enormous ruin to us when they turn traitors! And that is what hurt the most! A true friend never exploits! He/she rather surrenders. So this is where you need to know who to be nice with, who to be friends and associate with! Sebab tu dulu cikgu-cikgu or parents selalu remind us untuk "pilih kawan". Jadi, buatlah pilihan yang terbaik dalam memilih seorang kawan yang boleh di panggil "sahabat"..... Or just don't trust people 100% and always be on guard! When you're in school, the social group that you're with will probably change. People change all the time. So be sure not to trust anyone 100%!

There can be some real jerks in schools, college and your workplace. And people may be targeting you if they see you're so naive...or nice or can be taken advantage of. So again, I'm reminding you not to put complete trust in all of your friends, even if you know them for 10 years already. I've seen so many betrayal of friends (I'm talking about 20-30 years of friendship), because of business and money or third party in relationship, etc! So don't put 100% trust in people and put anyone you love as your number 1, but instead, you should put Allah and only Him first, in whatever you do! :)

Friends are the family that we can choose. Good friends exercise good influence. They always help their friends, in distress and inspire them to walk on the right path. But evil friends ruin us completely...and disappear when we needed them! These days, the meaning of friendship has changed..and sadly, today, friendship between two persons is often short-lived. It's either you're Best Friends since school or college until now, OR.... you used to be Best Friends when you were studying/working together years and years ago. And then totally lost contact when they find some new friends at the new place or something like that.. or find something else that interests them which doesn't include you anymore. This is typically the common situation for most of us. Only the lucky ones would still have a good relationship/friendship with their Close Friend/Best Friend until 30-40 years or more perhaps. Others, would only come to you again, when they needed something from you.... Yeah, that sucks right? Well, that's life. You could be a very best friend with someone when you work together for 20-30 years, but when you're retired, the person would not even text you, or call you. Apatah lagi jumpa. Especially if you're no longer his/her boss or someone more superior than him/her. So..yeah. This is where you can see and judge whether the person has been sincere to you or not, for all those years. Because like it or not, people tend to forget things that are not in front of them anymore. This is life. When that sucky situation happen, you just have to move on and live your life without them! Life is just full of uncertainties. So you need to guard yourself up, and don't let people walk all over you, honey!
So anyway, this "a friend in need is a friend indeed" proverb has always stands true. You always have friends who are with you during good times, but the ones who stick with you, when you face tough times,  when you truly need them, are the ones that are indeed your friends!
(However, my friend is quite confused with this phrase. She thought like.. why should she consider someone a friend, just because they are needy? hehe) Well, let me give you another example here:

A friend in need: 
When you are in need. When you need help, when you are unable to give any repayment. When you are broke and everyone hates you, etc.

Is a friend indeed. 
If your friend stays by you, when you are in need, that is a true friend! So they are a "friend indeed!". - BUT If your friends only stay by you when you are rich, popular, beautiful, berpengaruh & berpangkat besar, and for whatever reasons it may be, etc etc...then these are not your real friends! So be sure to know who your true, and real friends are! The world out there is cruel, my dad always reminds me this. So you should be more careful on this, ladies! :)

So in our day to day work, we come across so many persons and all of them are not our "real friends". Each person has an individual character and it is hard to find people who share your thoughts, interests, jokes, etc, so when you find one, please stay true with one another! (same goes to relationship too!)

Many things are needed to make friendship a real one, including trustworthiness, support, honesty, and loyalty, etc. Friendship (and relationship) is supposed to make both people happy, and enjoying their relationship. Good friends know all about one another. A person who is honest and sincere can prove to be a good friend!
I think friendship grows on a mutual trust and help. Friendship demands time and effort. So sometimes you have to step over your pride and put yourself on the place of your friend, and see what she feels even if you think you are correct. But in exchange, a friend can provide a lot of support and comfort in good times and bad.. So if you find someone so dearly, hold on to that person and don't let go! However still, it might occur that at one point of life you are best friends, and then something happened and you can never be friends anymore. Well like I said, things happen, this is how life is..and you need to move on and find another friend and happiness..and remember to guard yourself up next time, so you won't hurt anymore! Your life is blessed, if you have a faithful friend. So be sure to be one first!

Mahatma Gandhi once said that adversity is the crucible test for friendship. You know your real friend, only when he stands by you, in times of adversity. It is said that prosperity makes friends. Adversity tries them. So...are you a real friend to your friend? I hope you are! ^__^

Well I'm glad I found one........for now? heheh. Joking! ;p - Inshaallah, I hope you'll be my best friend until Jannah! Oh, I love you, my friend! And thank you Allah for this wonderful gift! ;)


1 comment :

  1. hello i'm quite agree with what you've said . but it is just life . when we had left our school,office,home etc . we tend to left all the thing include friends.we can just contact them once a while. i experience it. i am very sad actually bcoz i love that friendship. but what i can do, she is at kl, and she is at penang , while i am at kedah. we just get through sometimes by texting each other . And now i have new bestfriends(i think). coz i dont know what i am going call , maybe just house mate. :( But undeniable true some of them are really good sometimes,. maybe all the time but just i am the one who dont know how to appreciate things or maybe being too sensitive. i guess . :'(

    sorry for such a long comment and of course for my broken english :P

    btw i love reading your blog . this is my first time being here..


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