Monday, August 13, 2012

Truth hurts.


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..


Salam everyone..
I never thought I would be writing this post.. But here I am, writing it right now, today.

I know that this blog of mine is not like some other blogs where they blog about their thoughts or talk about some personal stuff and etc. Yes, I rarely do that here..

My blog is supposed to be happy and fun. A place for me to post things that interests me. And not something that's too personal. But today, it's different. I just have to write this. As much as I hate to do it, I really have to be a grown up and face the world and end the assumptions people have made about me. I was told that the sooner I say it, the sooner I'll recover and be better, inshaallah.

________________________________


Please know that this entry has been the hardest post that I have ever done in my entire life. This dugaan that I have to face is the biggest test that has ever occurred in my life. Only Allah knows just how deeply hurt I am. I have been keeping this for quite some time and I don't quite know just howwww to write about thisssss, or even to tell people without feeling so low. Especially those who know me.... Even right now, I'm still not sure how to write this. It took me a few hours to think what exactly should I write in here..
Sedih, malu, geram, marah, bersyukur, benci, semua ada. Macam-macam perasaan wujud dihati.. :(

I have tried writing it a few times before. But it all ended up with a blank page as I just can't proceed with my writings when tears began to stream down my face.. And I ended up pressing the "Delete/Backspace" button each time, and started to channel my sadness and anger in a different, and happy post, like my beauty and travel entries instead.. heh.  But I know that eventually, at some point..I will have to tell people and to stop abstaining myself from facing the truth and the situation. =/

So here I am today, holding back my tears...writing The Truth. The truth that so many people wanna know about. (I know some of you have even Googling about me and about it! Pffft.) The truth that I hate to tell. The truth that I can't believe that it's happening to me. The truth that hurts me so damn much. ='(

Oh well...some of you may have probably know about this by now.. Or maybe already sensed something about me and my engagement right? - Because I have heard stories that people have been talking about..and I even got a few comments/messages/SMSes asking me about my personal love life from people that I know, anddd strangers! Thank you for your concern, honey.


Well yes, my engagement with that man (I can't even say his name now) has ended. It happened for a few months back. But only now I have the courage to tell everyone here since the engagement is officially terminated. - I figured, it would be easier for me to write a post in my blog rather than telling each and every one who knows me  either personally or through my blog.. Because I've had enough of people congratulating me and asking me questions about my engagement, about my wedding, about the dresses, about the colors & themes, about the date and stuff like that... Sigh. I know they meant well but it's too much pressure for this girl. T___T

I NEED to stop being stressed out by spilling the truth here, so that I can start open a new chapter of my life. Because I deserve to be happy.


Truth be told, my November wedding is off, and my engagement that was held last January has come to an end. We were engaged for a very very verrry short period of time! It was only for a few weeks. Yes, it was that pathetic. And that was the reason why I was extremely down. I don't know how can anyone could face what I have faced before. And I sure hope no girl would ever have to face this kind of thing ever ever everrrr! Only God knows just howwww deeply hurt I felt when it happened. I felt like running away. I felt like screaming. I felt like my world is over..and that it's hard for me to get up again. I felt stupid. I felt extremely down and depressed. I felt really really EXTREMELY guilty towards my parents, knowing that they have spent a lot of time, money and effort to make it happen for me. (Sorry mama, and abah! tskk) And I especially felt extremely guilty towards myself too, for letting this thing to happen to me! :(

Part of me hates that it happened to me..but another part of me is somehow glad that it happened.. Because it made me realized something..and it has made me more mature I guess.. This is like satu tamparan yang sangat hebat for me. And I've learned my lesson!

Well I am not going to get into details of what happened between us, because I need to jaga hati a lot of people, even though I feel that I deserve to have a say in this.. But I'm not really here to blame anyone or talk bad things about anyone..or berniat nak memalukan siapa-siapa kat sini. Especially his family, when they did nothing to me. So yes..I'm not here to salahkan siapa-siapa. I'm just here to end the assumptions people have been making. Sigh. God, I hate pressure.. It's not healthy.




Of course, I was really really brokenhearted. I have never ever imagined I would be facing this kind of phase. (Of course, no one would!) And until today, I keep on asking myself, whyyyyy did it happen to me?? Whyyyyy did I proceed when I know it's going to be bad?? Whyyyy did I ever get engaged?? Whyyy did I let that thing happened?? Whyyyy didn't I speak up and be the brave girl?? Whyyyy did I let him abuse me mentally and emotionally?! I should have known my values and my rights. Whyyyyy I was so weak and so afraid to stand up for myself??!! Whyyyyyy did I even meet him in the first place?! Yes, I have come to a point where I regretted the day I met and know him. It made me think just how weird it is that the person who used to be your number one priority..becomes the last person you want to meet...if you ever have to!  Sometimes love can be blind and make you do stupid things (like continuing a relationship when you already know it's not going anywhere or it's bound to cause major catastrophes. Haihh). I am not really the kind of person who likes to hate other people. But with him, I just can't stop myself from feeling like this! Cuz things are still fresh in my mind. And it still does affect me up until today..although it has been about half a year now. - Sedikit sebanyak, benda ni does affect me today....and that's why I hate it so much! I want to be ME again! =/


I was depressed. I was shocked. I was traumatized. And I was miserable when it happened.  I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I didn't go out. I just couldn't do anything. For a month! Sebulan duduk terperap dalam bilik..thinking howwww can I face the world! Thinking how stupid and blind I was! But as much as I hate that this thing has happened to me, I know that I can't fight fate and destiny. Ini semua takdir dan ketentuan Allah. And I have to accept it. I have to. Ia sudah tertulis..  I always tell myself, "ada hikmah atas apa yang berlaku" or "Allah has so much better plans for me", to keep myself sane again. But, deep down inside, who am I kidding right? I'm just a normal human being with feelings. I'd be lying to myself if I say I'm okay and this thing does not affect me at all. Because it does. Or at least...it did.


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Anyways... I'm all better now. Alhamdulillah, syukur! Thanks to all the support I get from my parents, my very best friend who has helped me A LOT throughout my hard times. (I love you so much for that! hihi), my Along, my brother, the articles I've been reading, my friends, my cousins, my maid, etc, who were there for me when times were so hard back then. Well honestly, I am not 100% healed yet, but I'm almost there, insha allah. Maybe another 10% more. haha.. - Every now and then, whenever something triggers the button, I wouldn't lie that I don't feel anything.. (Like Cheryl Crow said, The First Cut Is The Deepest! hehe) That is the reason why it's kinda hard for me to just let go of it already, although I know he is SO not worth it..but I just can't help myself. I'm only a human being... Cuz the sakit hati and pain is still there.. (Tell me how does a girl recover and being 100% normal and happy again, when she was being abused mentally, emotionally, financially and almost physically?? TELL ME. Sighhh..)  Hmm.. but for what it's worth, I know all this feeling is just temporary. I know I'll be 100% okay again, inshaallah.. Let's hope that this healing phase would be fast! And I'll meet my soul mate who would love me just how I wanted to be loved..and adore me just the way that I am... soon! Amin. Inshaallah! :)


So I'm free now.. Alhamdullilah.. I thank God that I see it sooner rather than later. Like my parents said, nauzubillah...kalau kahwin dengan dia.. Daripada anak dia hidup bahagia, tiba-tiba nanti jadi sengsara just because tersalah pilih pasangan hidup.. So, saya berasa bersyukurrrr sangat, Allah telah tunjukkan dan selamatkan saya dari lelaki sebegitu. Seram sejuk bila difikirkan kalau saya ditakdirkan berkahwin dengan dia. Thank you soooo much God, for stopping it and made me realize! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! Thank you for saving me! *sujud syukur*

Now..I just wanna be happy again, like I have always been! It's time now for me to let go of the past and time to embrace all that awaits me! I can't wait! I KNOW, ALLAH HAS SO MUCH BETTER PLANS FOR ME! I KNOW HE WILL DEFINITELY REPLACE THIS FEELINGS WITH SOMETHING SO MUCH GREATER THAN THIS! INSHA ALLAH. :)


Lastly, I hope and pray no girl (or guy) would ever have to face this emotional and mental abuse.. And don't ever have to face a "putus tunang"/ "putus cinta" situation. The pressure is so great I tell you.. Sigh. But thank God it's over now! Syukur!!


And here's a little advice from me, if you’re already in a bad/unhealthy relationship (even if you’re engaged) and you don’t think it’s going to get any better, act fast! DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP! You should know your awesome values! Because like my sister said, no guy is worth your tears..and the one who is, won't make you cry - And she was SO right! :) So if you know that your relationship is not healthy and you're not happy, jangan biarkan ia berlarutan sampai ke jinjang pelamin! Think about your future. Jangan takut apa orang lain cakap atau fikir sebab orang memang tidak akan berhenti bercakap. What people think about you is none of your business. What matters the most is you and your life! Because when you’re already married (to the wrong person), it would be too late! Marriage does not solve the problem; it will only create more of what is already there! So my advice is, jangan bercinta 100% mengikut hati dan perasaan. Bercintalah guna otak! haha.. Dan 40% lagi, baru guna hati. LOL - Boleh ke nak guna mathematics in relationship & love? Hahah.. Maybe? ;p
Oh well...you know what I mean, right! hehee ;)

Anyway..I think I have spilled enough. Time for me to stop now... Phewwwww!! Finally..I did it! I've let it out!  - It took me months to write it in here! And only now I have the guts to publish it?! haha. And boyyy....That was easy?! heh ;p
Now let's start a new chapter! Boleh bukak buku baru dah! Yeay! hehe. It's time now for me to let go of my past, and embrace all that awaits me! ^___^

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....


P/S: What is meant to be, will find it's way. Insha Allah :) 



Wassalam.



Yours Faithfully,
Shazwani.

131 comments :

  1. be strong sis, Allah have a better plan for you and you deserve someone better..

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  2. sedih bace post awak...yeah it's so hurt when u have this kind of putus cinta phase...but like u said.. Tuhan tahu apa yang lebih baik untuk kita....semoga awak lebih tabah utk menghadapi dugaan dan menjadikan diri awak matang....semoga awak juga diberikan kegembiraan yang berlipat kali ganda dari sebelum ini...n semoga awak di temukan dengan sesorang yang menyayangi awak like ur parents did...i am proud of u sebab bukan senang utk beritahu org ramai benda2 sensitif mcm nie (especially u kan blogger yg famous)...be happy wani!!!

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  3. Bold move right here. But it only goes to show how strong of a person you are. I am sorry that this happened to you, but at the same time, i am glad that it DID happen to you. Not because i'd wish for bad things to happen on you, but because i believe He has the utmost reasons in placing us in a situation that we NEED. Not necessarily what we want.

    Sometimes, we have to kiss the wrong frogs to meet our handsome prince ;) , and so what things happened the way it did? We move on. The important thing is to always move on because a girl has so much more to give, especially for a girl like you.

    Im not siding anyone on this but its an honest opinion by a girl to another girl. And i know sometimes being punched 'unexpectedly to the stomach' could take some time in healing, heal well wani, learn to forgive and always be the better person. Hatred would only give you back misery, it tires you, it makes you bitter. I pray that one day you will leave this behind, and trust that it only happened because Allah wanted it to happen to you. You needed it for some form of realization, and a wise friend once told me, ' Jangan sesekali kita buruk sangka dengan takdir Allah,' Redha dengan segala kejadian, and for the next steps onwards, we be more wiser in choosing and analyzing what is best for us :)

    I Am glad to have met and read your space for quite sometime now, and would love to meet you soon :)

    Salam 'alaykum wani !

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  4. Oh myyy... Mata begenang baca your entry. But seems like you are such a strong lady. Wani, have faith in Him. He knows everything that u dont know. I pray that u'll find someone that love u becoz of Him. That will be much better. iA. Hugs :)

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  5. dear sis shazwani,
    You are such a strong girl!!! Congrates because you succeed in getting up again :D. I also had faced the pain of being a brokenhearted girl. Plus I am a student, it really give effect on my study. It was my bad time ever! Well as time flies I am getting stronger day by day. Just leave everything to ALLAH. He knows everything :) May Allah bless~

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  6. Dear Wany, Allah knows the best for you. like @ItsLifeNotes say "I'm worried, I'm stressed, I'm confused, but I know that God will make the right things happen so it will all be ok" :)

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  7. iskk...its also hurt me when I read your story. bertabahla wanie! as far as I be your silent reader, u r a happy go lucky gurl. plz, don't change urself juz becoz of dis lousy guy! maybe you want to get rid everything about him. so then, u may delete any of ur post that include him in dat. eg: accessories.

    cheers :)

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  8. Be strong girl... Dun let the man ruin ur entire life...
    Allah has plans someone better for u..

    Forget him.. and start posting ur blog with ur fashion tips n beauty k..hehe.. Btw love ur style..
    Wish u a good luck...

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  9. Kak Wani..please be strong..Allah will help you..xbestlaa kak wani sedih2.. :( i want to see you blog again like before! ;)

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  10. Wani, be strong okay... Mmg fasa kekecewaan ini terlalu pedih nak harungi.. Percayalah ada hikmah sebalik nya.. Jgn risau, di sekeliling Wani .. masih ada family dan kawan-kawan yg sayang kan Wani..

    Kita doakan Wani dapat jodoh yg terbaik satu hari ni ya..

    Amin...

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  11. Wani, be strong okay..

    Ada hikmah sebalik nya

    Kita doakan ada jodoh yg terbaik utk Wani nnt.

    *Hugs*

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  12. Good girl.. :)

    Sentiasa doa agar dpertemukan dgn jodoh yg baik ye dear..

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  13. it is okay, dear. keep being strong. i know that it sound easy to just talk but , i know how you feel. been there too. and yes, i agree that it is the rightest way to bail from an unhealthy relationship.

    keep being strong. i love your blog post. peace out!

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  14. Sabar dik...sesungguhnya janji Allah itu lelaki baik hanya untuk perempuan yg baik2,mgkn Allah tunjukkan skrg supaya wani tidak kecewa dikemudian hari...Insya'allah wani akan bertemu dgn lelaki yg jauh lebih baik...be strong ok...


    your silent reader

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  15. Take care Wani. The truth really hurts. I had a guy who promised to marry me. He is 6 years younger than me btw. Abused mentally by saying "you ni berapa tahun sekarang? Takkan tak nak kawin kut? Bla bla bla.. He also abused financially.. Kata kerja atas kapal, duit banyak.. But why on earth he asked money, BB etc from me.. And he was good to be true too.. Oh well.. Sampai sekarang sakit hati. Takpe Wani. U are still young. Enjoy your life.. Shopping, travelling like what I am doing eventho' I am that young anymore., hahaha.. Take care!

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  16. wani sayang, akak harap awak bertabah ya.
    life must go on.
    kesedihan akan hilang ditelan masa.
    dan akak yakin awak boleh jadi wani yang dulu.
    yang happy go lucky sentiasa *hugs

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  17. selalu kalau baca mesti nak yg ada gambar sahaja. tak sangka saya akan baca entry ni sampai habis.

    harap bersabar dengan dugaan ni.
    semestinya Tuhan dah rancang yg terbaik utk kita. Pasti ada hikmah atas apa yg berlaku.

    sedih baca entry ni.
    saya tahu pedih dan sakit nak terima ujian sebegini.

    Sabar ye!
    ;)

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  18. Be strong gal and yes u r right,InsyaAllah..He has a better plan for u dear..

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  19. Salaam..Alhamdulillah, Allah reveals the truth.. Take care, babe.

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  20. Hi there,

    It takes courage to do what you did and I have to say you are very brave to end it. Theres no point to hold on to things or somebody that dont deserve you and worst will make your life miserable in the end.

    I know its easy to say than done but nonetheless youve taken the most pertinent step of all. Take a deep breath and be grateful that Allah loves you more. Thats one thing that many other girls didnt get. They marry the wrong guy and regret it for the rest of their lives.

    Be good and always remember you will find you soulmate one day

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  21. Shaz, lets hang out! Girls day out maybe? ;)

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  22. *HUGS*..Be strong beautiful..

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  23. it's ok. you'll find ur Mr Right one fine day.

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  24. Bila Allah cepat makbulkan doamu.. maka Dia menyayangimu, Bila Dia lambat makbulkan doamu..maka Dia ingin mengujimu, Bila Dia tidak makbulkan doamu,maka Dia merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik untukmu.. Oleh itu sentiasalah bersangka baik pada Allah dalam apa jua keadaan pun, kerana kasih sayang Allah itu mendahului kemurkaanya.

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  25. poorly sis,

    anggap sahaja ujian ini hikmah dari Allah..mungkin masa ni sis terasa down tapi sementara...bukan seumur hidup dan ambil masa untuk recover...
    contoh mcm my fren...lg 2 minggu dorng nak kawin..she knew that bakal husband curang..but she take a risk nak teruskan perkahwinan sebab sayang kan...sekarang ni dorng xsehaluan..perkahwinan dorng hanya dapat bertahan 2 tahun sahaja..tak ada anak..kawan saya ni pressure sgt2 sebab kawin masa belajar lagi..so sebagai kawan...we all yang bagi semangat dia untuk habiskan belaja....sekarang dia lebih berhati-hati untuk memilih pasangan..pasangan ni bukan untuk masa yg singkat atau sementara.tapi sepanjang hayat kita..saya doakan sis akan dapat jodoh yang lebih baik untuk bimbingan dunia dan akhirat..anggap dugaan ini untuk meningkatkan keimanan kita dengan Allah...

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  26. U go girl! every now and then u tend to make a bad moves.. memory cant be erased, but it definetely can be overwritten.

    Nuthing to be a shame of. It is a pert of life. You deserve the best.

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  27. dear wani.. I pernah alami apa yg u alami .. cuma that time i baru kenal dunia .. tau erti couple and in relationship .. but the effect smp ke my study.. really2 down that time .. rasa diri sgt2 bodoh time tue .. until now mmg i tak kan lupa .. tp betul ..in the future Allah has better plan for you .. and I'm happily married with my husband now .. he is more2 better .. be strong girl .. layan lagu baru Jac tue bg semangat baru .. "bernafas dgn semangat jiwaku"

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  28. so true dear.. i'm glad u make dat decision..congrats. x smua org dpt buat kputusan mcm u buat.. so chill.. selamat hari raya aidilfitri :)

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  29. Salam Wanie, sorry to hear that. Tapi setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya. Saya pernah mengalami situasi yang hampir sama dulu, cuma kami belum sampai tahap bertunang. 5 tahun bercinta, akhirnya, saya buat keputusan untuk tinggalkan dia. Insya Allah, akan diutuskan 'hamba Allah' yang penyayang untuk kamu nanti.

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  30. Just concerned..13/8/12 6:23 PM

    Hi.
    I hope you are doing well over there..Banyakkan bersabar ye..

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  31. salam....

    hi...sy silence reader blog ni....
    and i sgt2 suka baca blog u...

    i xtau nak ckp ape...tp i sgt2 sokong kata2 u...yup...kita mesti bersuara! and bila bc kisah u ni sedikit sebnyak membuka i...

    yes....semua yang berlaku ada hikmanya...and Allah syg u sbb tu skrg ni Allah dh tunjuk pd u...

    now..buka buku baru...

    take care ya...xoxo

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  32. Perancangan Allah tidak siapa tahu, apa yang telah berlaku menjadi iktibar pada kita semua. Usah dikenang lagi. U are a strong person. InsyaAllah u'll meet ur true soul mate... Amin..

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  33. insyaallah wanie,everything will be fine....tetap berdoa,jgan salahkan diri sndri....keep it up girl....chaiyok2 k...Allah sentiasa ada....

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  34. Assalamualaikum..firstly sy hope sis sentiasa tabah kerana kita kena yakin dengan qado dan qadar yang telah Allah tetapkan pd kita..Apa yg terjadi pd sis ni sama dengan apa yg terjadi pd sy last year..tp sy lagi sebulan hari nak lansung n sy buat keputusan utk ptskan pertunangan..mmg susah,marah n mcm2 perasaan yg kita alami..org lain xkan rasa apa yg kita alami..tp saya redha dan Allhamdullillah Allah berikan yg lebih lebih baik dr apa yg dia ambil dari saya..
    So sy doakan sis dpt yg lebih lebih baik..Allah menguji kita kerana Allah nak kita sentiasa mengingati Dia dan selalu meminta pd DIa...mintalah pd Allah..

    ;-)

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  35. be strong dik..someone somewhere is made for you...take care dik

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  36. be strong dik..someone somewhere is made for you...take care dik

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  37. kak wani maya silent reader akak...
    sory nk ckp mula2 maya pelik mana akak nye cite psl Eng..... rupenye maya dah tau kenapa...

    yg lepas biar lepas kak... akak cantek, baik happy je...ada yg lain lebih baik utk akak... satu hari nnti akak pastiiii tau "prince charming" xmuncul lg hehhehe

    bulan ramadhan yg mulia...sgtt elok akak berdoa insyaallah...(cume lambat dan cepat je nk sembuh luke kte ni)

    sory byk sgt nasihat dari maya..tc kak....raye enjoy2! heheh

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  38. akak kalau xnk apve komen maya td pun xpe...cume bg kuat semangat akak je ;)

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  39. Assalualaikum dear. Im one of ur silent reader. I can say that i understand what u've been thru coz i were on d same boat few years back. I've cancelled my wedding 1 month before d date. Until now, it hurts to even think of it. But dear, Allah works in a very mysterious ways n im happy now with husband. My doa for u.
    Alin.

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  40. stay strong wani. Yes, easier said than done. but I was in your shoes before. And it is not easy. Most importan is 'HATI KENA KUAT' :)


    Regards,
    Alandria

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  41. Sbr k syg..ALLAH tentukn yg terbaik bt kite..moga adik cekal hadapi smuanya k syg.. -sis syifa

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  42. Alhamdulillah...mudah2han Wani dah buat keputusan yg sangat TEPAT!
    Akak doakan Wani bertemu jodoh yg lebih baik dan menyayangi Wani seadanya.
    Insya Allah ada 'seseorang' kat luar ni yg mmg dah ditakdirkan utk Wani dunia dan akhirat :)

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  43. Dear wani,
    I’m just your silent reader. I know what you’ve felt coz I felt it before. Yes it hurts, like even it the end of the world for me. But I manage to stand up again. Love yourself wani, that’s the best thing and must put as number one priority for our life. Well I’ll give this quote to that I’ve pick from NurKasih The Movie “KITE TAK TAHU APA YANG ALLAH RANCANGKAN UNTUK KITE” and “Maybe Allah want us to meet wrong people before we going to meet the Rights one”…stay strong gurl u’ll be ok….

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  44. Dear wani,
    I’m just your silent reader. I know what you’ve felt coz I felt it before. Yes it hurts, like even it the end of the world for me. But I manage to stand up again. Love yourself wani, that’s the best thing and must put as number one priority for our life. Well I’ll give this quote to that I’ve pick from NurKasih The Movie “KITE TAK TAHU APA YANG ALLAH RANCANGKAN UNTUK KITE” and “Maybe Allah want us to meet wrong people before we going to meet the Rights one”…stay strong gurl u’ll be ok….

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  45. Dear Shazwani,

    I think you've taken a wise decision. Marriage is not about being with someone we love.. It is about sharing your life and future with someone who can accept you. Be proud and stay strong, girl..
    It is better to hurt now than to be in harmful, depressing marriage..
    You, my dear, deserve someone better. Keep on praying to Allah, ya..

    Love,

    Haizi.

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  46. sorry to hear that wani. be strong. insyaAllah, perkara baik menanti wani. take care. *hugs*

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  47. Wanie dearie...
    I've been ur silent reader all this while and never left any comments in any of ur entries...anyhow...here I am giving u a big hug...a very comforting one...be strong girl..don't blame urself...for sure u have made d rite decision...so don't despair..enjoy ur life to d fullest now..u don't deserve that kind of man to be ur partner let alone to be ur soulmate,,yeah...u're rite..Allah has better plans for u and 1 thing u shud remember is...Allah will not burden us with things that we cannot handle...so...even how hurt&bitter those memories are to u...move on with ur life...life's too short to mourn over someone/something that doesn appreciate our presence....after this do shower us,ur reader, with stories of ur life or some random thoughts/ramblings of yours....

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  48. Dear Shazwani,

    You have to kiss frogs before you find your prince frog..

    Assuming your ex is a frog, okey;-) So, hope, someday, your prince frog, prince charming, mr. right will find you.

    The best things always take time just like diamonds

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  49. hi wani, yeah that true...mybe our situation are not same. but our feeling mybe same kot..sakit hati..sedih..sometimes macam meyesal..but..we had a life..don't be sad too much anymore k..
    you..thanks for advise..now i tengah learn how to love someone mengunakan otak..hahha...i hate loved. but manusia xleh lari dari love kan..hurm..by the way..congrats, bangun..and kejar ape yang kita mahukan..k..

    tolak semua masalh ketepi..u ade ramai orang yang sayg u.. even-thought ur silent reader kan...hihi..just remember one...kalau kita rase susah..sebenarnya ade lagi yang lebih susah dari kita..k..

    sorry yek kalao i ckp nie..looks like annoying..chillx k..muaxh

    love ya! selamat hari raya!

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  50. u are great wanie...sabar okay :)..
    outside there must have 1 person that suitable for you!...i am sure about that..Allah plan the more better for us after we had done a big mistake.. yeah, u might be feel so stupid knowing HIM but trust me, u will smile 1 day after u find out that will be 1 person person that love u more.. be strong wanie!

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  51. Bold move right here. But it only goes to show how strong of a person you are. I am sorry that this happened to you, but at the same time, i am glad that it DID happen to you. Not because i'd wish for bad things to happen on you, but because i believe He has the utmost reasons in placing us in a situation that we NEED. Not necessarily what we want.

    Sometimes, we have to kiss the wrong frogs to meet our handsome prince ;) , and so what things happened the way it did? We move on. The important thing is to always move on because a girl has so much more to give, especially for a girl like you.

    Im not siding anyone on this but its an honest opinion by a girl to another girl. And i know sometimes being punched 'unexpectedly to the stomach' could take some time in healing, heal well wani, learn to forgive and always be the better person. Hatred would only give you back misery, it tires you, it makes you bitter. I pray that one day you will leave this behind, and trust that it only happened because Allah wanted it to happen to you. You needed it for some form of realization, and a wise friend once told me, ' Jangan sesekali kita buruk sangka dengan takdir Allah,' Redha dengan segala kejadian, and for the next steps onwards, we be more wiser in choosing and analyzing what is best for us :)

    I Am glad to have met and read your space for quite sometime now, and would love to meet you soon :)

    Salam 'alaykum wani !

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  52. salam wani..

    sorry to hear bout ur engangement..you are very lucky to realize all this before marriage.i know how u feel rite now coz i've been through the same thing 3years ago.it's really difficult to face the reality..feel like there's no more life for me.but time will fly and i hope u can continue ur life with ur lovely family.
    Allah has better plan for us..take care :)

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  53. Dear, b strong ok... sad to read what already happened.. but as u mentioned evrything happened 4 a reason... May ALLAH bless u always..

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  54. Hi babe,

    Im a stranger,haha. ok a silent reader it seems. Just wanna share something with u darl.

    Been there,Done that. Enufsaid. I know how the pain was. I know how much its hurt u. I know exactly what you feels. macam kene tikam bertubi-tubi. disakiti tanpa rase belas.I know. how the "why" thingy go against you.why this, why that. why me????? why not anyone else.

    People might say such a beautiful words to ease the pain. sabar, redha and whatnot. But we know its actually doesn't. yes it did. a bit i would say. it easier said than done kan. Cry whenever u want. Thats nothing wrong with it. Its one of those therapy to heals u from the pain. (but not too much.nanti mata tak cantik.we need that cantik to live our life anyway.lol!).Babe, times will heals the pain. trust me.

    As for now,wherever you go, whatever you do. the memories remain with u. because you been thru a lot of thing with him. you did a lot of things together. so its normal bile tibe2 tengah makan u nangis. pegi somewhre yang u penah pegi with him suddenly your tears drop. dejavuuu.=) Its part of the healing process,this is the stage when you learn how to let go.

    But i have to admit. this is not an easy path. you will feel so much pain. but u have to face it babe.until u really reach the stage called "redha" (u will feel tired of crying and being sad, miserable). It will naturally comes to you when you dengan seikhlas hati, i repeat seikhlas hati u redha for what had happened (bukan buat-buat redha). and this is when Allah cerahkan langit dan beri u pelangi yang sangat cantik. It happened to me. I pray it will happen to you as well.=)

    As what u said, "ada hikmah atas apa yang berlaku" or "Allah has so much better plans for me". just to keep u sane. Yes babe i did that too.;) But as for now u just feel that is just a little word. u can't really feel it.or sometime u mcm argue xdepun hikmah. right? (I've been there.huhu) but trust me, HIKMAH ITU SANGAT PASTI. ITU JANJI ALLAH.every hardship there is relief.remember that.

    One fine day, u will feel soooo thankful this amazing thing happened to u. U bersyukur sangat-sangat Allah pisahkan u dengan die bile u bayangkan how suck ur life would be if you get married to this man.u bersyukur sangat-sangat because if this thing didnt happened, you will not find someone who deserve u, who is waaayyyyyy better than him, who is Allah had created for you, pemilik tulang rusuk itu.=)

    One fine day, u will know what is the real meaning of HIKMAH. And all your "WHY" question being answered. and mase ni la u regret why u argue with your takdir (i regret now kenape i argue dulu.rasa berdosa T__T). Allah knows best babe. Forgive him, Forget the thigs he had done to you, Let go. Get a new life. Pelangi you ade. Allah belum tunjuk =)I'd got mine. Alhamdulillah. My prayer goes to you babe. Selamat Hari raya=)

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  55. Dear Shazwanie,

    Ive read your blog and it reminds me of my those day. Ive been there and I know exactly how you felt.

    My ex pun abused me mentslly and financially. And just like you said,our relationship tak nampak pun happy ending. All ive imagine was like "im the ketua keluarga".

    Yet,i dunno how i can choosing him at first place. And idunno why i said YES to engagement plan. I guess becuz of 3 years be woth him makes me feel like "alaaa. Sayangnyaaa.". So i said YES sebab konon konon bila engage munkin feeling sayang tu datang balik. And mungkin die berubah. Tapi sayangnya,TAK..


    At the moment ive decided to call off our engagemnt,i dah get ready dgn apa yg org kata. Ramai (especially his friends) buat assumption I mata duitan etc etc,but the truth is,i just want the best for my life. My future. Org boleh berkata,cuba kalau adik atau kakak diaorg jumpe someone yg completely asshole,mesti diaorg pun nasihat suruh back off.

    But yes,now. Alhamdulillah. When i looking back at my past,syukur Alhamdulillah ive made that hard decision. Decision that I guess saved me from makan hati senyap2 and pretending to be happy. :)

    Now ive engagement o the man who love me at my worst. Man who work hard for our future,to provide everything that i need. Mattermost, hes the one who respect my family and I.


    Theres saying


    "Behind all these pain,theres great happiness hiding".

    InsyaAllah wanie.
    Congrats to you!!

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  56. wow... also felt what u've been through by reading ur entry.. feel sorry for u but be strong and Allah always by ur side.. he never leave u..

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  57. I am sorry to hear that. But it's ok, better now than later. Maybe it all happened for a good reason. Don't worry and I hope you will find your soulmate sometime sooner or later.

    Take care.

    Sally

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  58. dear wani, setiap yg berlaku ada hikmahnya.. u deserve better man.
    cheer up okey sweetie :)

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  59. what doesn't kill u makes u stronger, plus u have Allah on ur side.. Allah knows best. u've been saved. syukur..

    *this is what I will always do when I dont think I have anyone 2 talk to. I talk to Allah. after prayers. atas sejadah. menangis la sehendaknye. Allah always listen. bile stop nanges, terus OK! se ok ok nye!.. alhamdulillah..

    wishing u all the best ye wani.

    www.diyanamarissa.com

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  60. chill out..
    pi oversea, pi jalan2..pi shopping

    i ni putus tunang dah rasa..still alive and kicking

    putus tunang jer...jangan risau.. belum sempat kahwin..not that bad compared to those yang kena cerai ada anak berderet2.. u are so lucky tak jadi isteri dia kan..

    i yang kena cerai ni pun dah recover... still alive and kicking.. life must go on

    :)

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  61. Waniiii! be strong..ive been a silent reader of yours and ive been wondering why u never post any pic of u and ur fiance anymore..so the truth prevails..come on wani u deserve better!alhamdulillah ur not married to him or who knows what will happen..someone better is out there for you and i wish u the very best :) u look so nice its sad to see u sad :(

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  62. Dear sweet Shazwani,

    Your story reminded me exactly of what happened to me years ago. I didn't start dating again until 3 years after the break-up - that's how tormented i was (maklum lah first love) but looking back now, I am glad I'm out of that relationship and happy with my current state.

    So dear Sis, happy to know u're getting better. U're one sensible girl. good for you. Insya Allah, someone special is waiting for you.

    take care, and i LOVE readinig your blog!
    Salam and Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
    Hani

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  63. when your engagement post disappeared, that's when i realized.
    be strong wani! there's always a silver lining in the clouds

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  64. it's ok dear. you'll find Mr Right one fine day,or he will find you.

    i wish.

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  65. wani, simpati sgt dgn awak.semoga diberi kekuatan utk melupakan kesakitan tu ye. alhamdulillah sbb wani dapat cari hikmah disebalik musibah yang berlaku ni. Be storng girl!! you are inspiration for alot of women (me one of them :p). and thnaks for sharing ur personal life with all ur readers,u make me feel like im part of ur l;ife too. before this,only u r prat of my life.muehehe.

    Tapi lega sgt sebab wani tak teruskan hubungan yg toxic tu (from ur entry i guess its that kind of r/ship.sorry if im wrong) and syabas sebab berani ambil keputusan yang betul. kita mesti mpertahankan diri kita.jgn biar dibuli.

    dont be sad, ramai lagi yg sayang kt wani. i love you!!! you replied my question about foot care dlm satu entry panjang!!! wow u really are awesome. saya doakan wani bertemu lelaki yg baik,pandai menghargai dan mencintai wani sepenuh hati, like my husband :). oh btw i really2 love ur foot care post.my husband is like sooo kagum dgn i masa kitorang buat footspa kt umah.wani, u r such a wonderful person, percayalah awak pasti dapat lelaki yg sama baik mcm awak jugak.

    cheers darling!!

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  66. Wani,
    Right u deserve someone better. you should proud on yourself of what you did.You have guts to embrace the world because of him. He makes you to be a better person. A better wani.

    What past is past, what more matters is the future. How lucky you are when Allah protected u from marrying the wrong person. HE loves and cares you so much. InshaAllah, HE will send an angel to you, sooner. Pray hard,inshaAllah. Allah Maha Penyanyang.

    Eventho we are strangers, i know you are such a strong girl with a big heart. That's make me adore you much. :)

    Regards,
    Indnazzshoes :)

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  67. subhanallah.. the ordeal that you have to go through is NOT for the faint-hearted. you ARE CHOSEN. so special you are syazwani, remember that- you are special in the eyes of Allah!

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  68. Hi Shazwani!

    You may not know me, but I'm a follower of your blog even though I'm from the Philippines. I'm a fan of yours, actually =)
    Anyway, I just wanna say that I truly ADMIRE your courage for posting this on your blog. I know that everything is not easy for you, as I've been from a painful relationship as well, and what a coincidence, that was about six months ago, too!:) It was also hard for me to tell my friends and colleagues at first, but like you, I also prayed a lot and everything went well. I'm happy now, and I know you are, too! =) Keep on blogging... as I enjoy each and every blog you wrote.

    Take Care Always,
    CAROL ♥

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  69. percayalah satu, wanita yg baik hanya utk lelaki yg baik n vice versa..walaupun kita xpernah kenal, tp i know u're very strong person..mmg dah tertulis dia bukan jodoh u...n wani patut bangkit semula sbb ur life dikelilingi dgn family yg penuh dgn kasih syg,kawan2 yg sgt menghargai u..semoga tabah mengharungi apa yg berlaku dan teruskan melangkah..Allah xkan menguji hambanya melebihi kemampuan ia sendiri.. dan setiap dugaan yg ditimpakan kpd hambanya merupakan suatu rahmat iaitu;samaada sbg penghapus dosa atau utk mengangkat darjat hamba itu...;))

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  70. ramadhan kareem wanie,

    first of all i'm very sorry u have to face this (God knows how much i want to know what really happen). no wonder la u never blog about wedding preparation and all. i tot u r just being secretive.
    b4 this, i am your silent reader.. tapi kali ni rasa cam kesian sgt2 kat wanie, that i have to write this. selama ni u make me happy with all ur posting.. seronok baca benda2 happy & tgk benda2 cantik kat blog wanie. u r very lucky dapat beli macam2, travel jauh2 & pegi event best2. i'm always happy for you and always says that what a lucky girl u r.. but i'm never jealous/envy of you. i like the facts u are aware kengkadang u are a bit gedix but making fun of yourself. i wish i was like that when i was in your age before, full of confident and have a tak kisah apa org nak ckp attitute. you should realize how lucky you are.

    i am so glad you broke up on the early stage, not after kahwin eps when there r children involve. alhamdulillah Allah has shown u the way out early. Remember wanie, eveything happens 4 a reason. maybe right now u r questioning this, but when u r older, there is always hikmah to discover from this incident. Allah loves you very much and know how strong u r and how supportive those people around you. that's why He test you with this. Life is full of test, when he test you, it will make you closer to Him, He wanted you to remember Him and to learn from the test. don't ever blame your self for not realizing things earlier..
    we are only humane.. and we do make mistake.. and we learn from it. that's the way life is all about. at least you can get valuable lesson from this incident. look forward wanie, forget the past and make doa that you redha & may Allah will make you stronger. memories do hurt, but you have the power to control your heart and mind. go pampering your self & travel somemore and make lots of people out there happy reading your blog :) i've read your blog since ever and i can tell you r such a kind person, that is why i feel i need to says something to you. i don't like to see you sad and i know you don't deserve it. i wish someone like you will come into my life & be my friend :)

    ok wanie.. time is too short to waste on grieving. and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
    May Allah Bless You always

    -aura-

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  71. huhu..nasib kite serupa, sama..cume x sempat nak ikat (tunag/nikah)..
    ALLAH sygkan kite, de duga macam ni..huhuhu..insyaallah, jodoh tuh ditgan tuhan, mgkin bukan sekarag, mgkin bkan si dia...~

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  72. wany ....congratulation sebab u sangat berani utk post entry nih which ai rasa sangat honest n came from deep inside ur heart .

    yup kebenaran tew mmg pahit and i know u will able to get back to ur normal life .

    Wany ur such a wonderful person and all of ur entry bring joys to ur readers ...so dont give up ya ....we want the old wanieeeeeeee ...the happy wanieeeeee

    yup ...u kena amik benda nih secara +ve ...ia bukan tugas kita utk tetapkan jodoh kita ke apa tew semua kuasa tuhan n kiter sebagai umatnya kena terima

    u just putus tunang so ia bukan benda besar pun dear ...jgn riso apa org nak kata ...sampai kita mati pun mmg org akan duk bercakap pasal kita ...so chin up ....and be brave ya wanie

    hugsssssssssss

    yups its painfull but i know u pun pasti ada banyak memori2 indah . just ingat yg baik baik je n moga kenangan baik baik tew ley buang semer kenangan buruk

    insyaallah pasti jodoh yg lebih baik ada menanti u ...

    cheers wanie

    1 big hug from Kak Moon ...muahs

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  73. be strong girl
    u're my inspiration.TEHEE :)

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  74. dear, you are so lucky that he showed his true colors b4 marriage..an abusive person will always be abusive; thank God he didn't have a chance to phisically hurt u.. I must congratulate u for having the braveness to walk away from an unhealthy relationship, not many of us have that kind of courage you know.. Ppl always mistakenly submit themselves to this kind of abusive person as love and devotion, hence they're willing to sacrifice everything..you're still young, there are many guys out there whom are willing to accept u for who u are, not trying to change or taking advantages of u.. So chill and be happy!

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  75. Assalam...

    I'm your silent reader..and this thing pon penah jadi kat sy 2 thn lepas..sama mcm crite wani..sedih n sakit..

    Tapi alhamdulillah..ade hikmah setiap kejadian tu kan wani..Insyaallah..

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  76. Salam Shaz, I'm in the same situation as yours. Baru putus tunang 1 month ago & yes, I understand how u feel cos reading your post makes me feel all the pain again and your post makes me realise that i'm not alone going thru this. I used to think that i'm the unlucky person who have to go thru putus tunang but after a while i rasa ada hikmah disebaliknya. Family & friends has been a great help supporting me & Alhamdulilah, i cuba jalani kehidupan ini setenang yang boleh & cuba lupakan kisah silam... Insyallah, Allah has a better plan & much more better person for you. May Allah bless u dear..

    Sue

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  77. You are brave enough girl, to let the public knows about it. I wouldn't have imagined myself if i'm in your shoes... i guess i'll do the same way as u did. Be strong for whatever circumstances happened. As a woman we have our pride and dignity and things happened for a real reason for Allah has written it for you... The journey of your life.. InsyaAllah great woman deserves a great man.. and i can see it. and, always keep in mind.. your family is your highest priority, as they will be by your side to provide you all the support that u need..My du'a goes for u. Ameen...

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  78. Be strong ok!Biar je apa orang nak kata coz they dont know nothing.Let them be.Believe that Allah swt has better plans for you :) take care.

    -Your silent reader-

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  79. Wani,sabar ok..i've been there...i know exctly hw u feel...n it tooks me 2yrs to recover n i hope u x ambik masa lama utk sembuh...byk kn baca doa utk tenang kan hati ok...love u!

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  80. Hi, am ur silent reader. Never post any comment before. But i think this post deserves tons of comment. Somehow i smell it too.
    Stay strong dear. Nothing to be ashamed of. Most important thing is ur happiness. The good thing bout u tht should be an example to young ladies out there is u never write/show how lovey dovey u & ur ex was before. So seriously there's nothing to be ashamed of. Welcome to a new chapter ;).

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  81. hope you will be strong..I have been through all u have feel now..yes it hurts.. sampai tak tau nak buat ape.. serba tak kena.. hope you will learn from what happened.. sebagai pengajaran untuk diri sendiri supaya lebih berhati2 dalam memilih pasangan di masa hadapan.. saya dulu menangis dalam seminggu cam tula.. lepas tu mula terfikir.. apesal la aku jadi bodoh nak menangis kerana lelaki tu.. padahal dia pun tak nanges macam aku nangis yg bagai nak rak ni.. lepas drpd tu I jadi lebih strong..maybe u punyer story lain la dari I coz my love story.. saya ni di BET sesama lelaki..sapa yg dapat tackle saya adalah habuan yg diorg dpt..then ditinggalkan saya cam tu je..sakit hati..next bf saya kaki penipu n kaki pompuan..dah la taknak ngaku..last2 my father yg investigate sendiri..then, baru mengaku..mmg takdek maknela nak jadi menantu..hehehe..ohh..really thanx to my dad coz sanggup siasat pasal my ex..hehe..have a nice day wani! jgn sedey2 ya..

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  82. salam wani
    ya Allah, besarnya dugaan u've to face. i yg putus cinta pn jiwa patah, ini kan pula bertunang. berat mata memandang, berat & sakit lagi org yg experiencenya kan? :(

    i pray, may Allah give us the speed recovery & help us go through this with ease. amin... take care girl! insyaAllah, u'll find someone better

    "But they plan & Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners" - Surah al-anfal (8:30)

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  83. Salaam Shaz,

    I know it is not an easy thing for you to go through it when you had been abused; mentally, emotionally, financially and almost physically. It was in year 2000, we fell in love and we both were 18. The slightest mistake or misunderstanding would lead to big arguments. I would end all the dramas with teary eyes.

    Until in year 2001, I could remember he slapped me on this left cheek, punched me on my right shoulder and choked me in the car. I was lucky to grab his cellphone and dialed his brother's number.

    But it didn't end there. I tried to escape but as you said love is too blind (I would rather say I was blind), I gave him a second chance after 6 months trying. He abused me. Slapped me on the eye and torn my shirt while I as struggling to escape. Until one day, after THREE years, I had the courage to tell my cousin. The final, I went and told him. This has come to an end. And that was the last I heard from him.

    I suffered. I was traumatized. I woke up in tears and my night were filled with nightmares. It took me a year to get rid everything. I hate him just as much as I used to love him. But my mom told me to forgive him because this is the only way for me to forget about him.

    I know it is not easy, but you gotta forgive him and this would make your heart and soul at ease. Insha Allah. As for me, I will be getting married in December 2012, insha Allah to someone who loves me at my worst. :)

    Take care of yourself.

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  84. dah agak dah. nobodys live happy 24/7 like u did. i know ur engagement been cancelled for a long time ago. though, u no need to be sad. but i feel sorry for u because u're the one to be blame . not that guy. i think everyone know why the engagement been canceled. its because ur attitude. pakai je tudung. tp melaram sana sini. only think about fashion,fashion,fashion! insaflah sikit. dunia akhir zaman. last but not least, hope u can change ur attitude so that other guy will like u for who u are, not what u wear. get it??? (i know u will delete this soon) as long as u get the message.

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  85. this post makes me realize!thank you wani..i'm so touching when read this post..pity of you my dear..but it's true what you've been said that Allah has wayg better plans for you..just don't lose your faith on Him..keep on prayin..someone's better waiting for you..be strong okay! :)

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  86. dear, dont worry too much.syukur relationship y x ok tu dah berakhir.smoga u dberikan ketenangan n kebahagiaan dlm hdup.
    Amin n insyaAllah....
    Btw dear,im your silent reader...

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  87. pembaca setia :)14/8/12 6:50 PM

    wani, takziah atas berita sedih ni..ada hikmah tersembunyi disebalik semua ini..cuma i rasa, kalau u betul2 x nk salahkan sapa2, utk jaga hati semua org, so u x perlu utk tulis seolah2 u salahkan dia jugak...jgn timbulkan persoalan di kepala org lain, apa yg dia dah buat kt u kalau betul niat u xnk salahkan sapa or malukan sapa2 or nk jaga hati semua pihak...not nice mcm tu...kalau betul pn dia bersalah 100%, x perlu utk u ckp u sgt terkesan dgn perangai dia etc...so secara otomatiknya u nmpk mmg niat menyalahkan dia dlm blog u, so x selari dgn apa yg ckp di awal entry u...walau ape pn mslhnye, u kena jg hati semua pihak...tu pendapat i lps bc semuanya sbb i pernah mengalami yg sama..ape pn Wani, hikmah Allah pasti terbaik utk u dan dia...i doakan u akan jmpa calon suami terbaik dlm hidup u utk sama2 ke syurga Jannah...amin :)

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  88. yup,ada hikmahnya,Allah love u that's why dia uji u. btw u ar perfect girl xcually. all things will back to normal if you not forget to appreciate yourself....

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  89. Anon yang giler.Tak ada kaitan langsung melaram sana sini dengan relationship.

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  90. Anonymous: As Salam.

    Hi there whoever you are..
    Firstly, what's your point actually sending me this comment? If your intention is just to make me feel worse, well honey..it's not working. Because you don't know me. And I certainly don't know you. So you're in no position to assume and judge anything about me. By doing so, it just describes who u are.. Cuba la, bersihkan hati tu sikit? Dunia nak akhir zaman kan? So why don't you insaf sikit? (or maybe.. Banyak?) ;)

    And secondly, I have a blessed life, and I never say I have a perfect life. No one does, honey! Kenapa mesti nak sakit hati sangat even so siapa2 pun ada life yg perfect? Cuba bersihkan hati tu sikit

    And thirdly, you can assume whatever you want to assume about me or what happened. It's none of my business. Only Allah knows what I've been through.. Oh well, but that's ok..because like I said, you don't know me and what I've been through.. So yeah, I forgive you. Lagipun, tak elok nak sakit2 hati especially bulan puasa ni. Insaf lah, dunia nak akhir zaman kan? :)

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  91. anon : Pls muhasabah diri sndr. jangan bila terkena batang hidung sndr, baru nak sedar langit tu tinggi @ rendah. no matter who fault, women always hurt more than anyone know.

    wani : semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Allah have better plan for u :)

    thanks

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  92. MasyaAllah. U make me tersedar dari mimpi. I pun takut nak hadapi proses putus cinta or putus tunang. Thats why sekarang I pujuk ayah I so that dorang tahu he's a good guy. I cant imagine kalau I tiba2 putus cinta dlm usia dah 20-an nie ;(

    Anyway anon...So sad klu assume orang yang u tak kenal cmtu. Hahaha.

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  93. Anonymous : faham maksud husnudzon x?maksudnye bersangka baik dgn org...n i can tell that u dun hv husnudzon in ur heart..n pls jgn judge or simply maje assumption psl hal org lain boleh x?tahu x itu same dgn fitnah namenye..

    Wani : byk kan bersabar..Allah nk ganti dgn yg lebih baik tu.. :) dlm hal ni,tiada siapa utk di blame,cuma mmg dah bkn jodoh yg ttulis di azali...ini semua hanya penyebab saja..Allah sdg simpan u utk someone yg btol2 berbaloi n terbaik utk u.. :)

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  94. semua yang jadi ade sebab dear.sabar..smoga u jumpa orang yang lebih baik insyaALLAH.

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  95. ai is dh agak dah. sbb slalu u update bout u and him (ok, jgn tulis nama sini)

    be strong wani.

    anyway, ur Along is right right right (gaya upin n ipin) .. ;)

    chill oke ?

    anon tu psycho. jangan layan! hahahahaha!

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  96. Hi:)
    Ive neen a silent reader for a long time, and am sorry to read this , and that this happened to u. Also to have immediately a nasty comment, is not helpful.
    I was married for 5 years, with a child. My husband left us when she was 2 for a girl he met at work. I was devastated coz we were childhood sweathearts. I suffered, and my suffering hurt my baby as well. It took a long time to get over the divorce, but syukur for family an friends. U will find out who is really there for u, and u will learn that Allah has better plans for u. Terima ur fate, and concentrate on being a happy and good person.. Alhamdulillah, i met a man who loves my daughter and we are now happily married.. I pray u will find happiness too..
    Best wishes,
    Ida

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  97. Wani, honestly from earlier part reading your blog, I assume that you are one spoilt brat. After reading further, I have changed my perception, you are a girl who knows what she want, listen to her heart despite what other people may say. You are truly blessed with your family and friends besides you. Hmmm I think some people are just jealous of what you have, travel to etc, hence the not so nice comments about you. Anyway girl, I know you are strong, your sister put it wisely that no man worth your tears.... Be strong.. Keep us posted of your status and Selamat Hari Raya! Kay.

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  98. oh GOD, the coward and annoying mouse everywhere.
    dear wani, putus tunang bukan segalanya. sabar dan bertabah ye. u have everything just u dont have the right guy only but still u muda lagi...hehe

    nanti kalau dah jumpa the right guy, terus kahwin okeh. i know u deserve better :)

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  99. Salam wani. Bnyk kan bersabar okay. Be strong... Money can't buy happiness. U did the right thing!

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  100. Hye wani..i mmg suka baca blog u..tipu kalo i cakap i x tunggu u cter pasal ur wedding..xpi xpelah..belum ada jodoh..u xperlu malu ngan sapa2..hanya u shj yang tau cerita sebenar..i harap u tabah utk hadapi segala dugaan yang menimpa.. i harap u sentiasa happy ngan kehidupan u skrg..=)

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  101. hi wany

    im your silent reader... i pernah alami mcm u,.. dan and the worst part..semua dah tempah..kad kawen dah diedar,,, tp dia cancel last minute... bersabarlah wani...i sgt sgt paham ape yg u rasa..percayalah..Allah pilih kita utk lalui semua ni sbb Dia tahu kita boleh harunginya... Sila baca hadis dr Ummu Salamah.. Take Care.. my pray alwayz be with u...

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  102. i was thinking the same thing.. because marriage is not about a fesyen all the time.. ur fingers need to tumbuk sambal, masak nasik, basuh baju n etc.. if not tak makan nasik le laki u..

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  103. stay strong!! we your readers will always love u!

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  104. Ala, cool lah. Its not the end of the world. Dia pun bukannnya handsome pun, fat, short, buncit some more!

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  105. Allah test his toughest soldiers with the hardest battle.

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  106. salam wani.. im a silent reader of your blog. dont worry girl, u have so many friends and readers that love n care bout u.. sooner or later great time will come, insyaAllah.. just b strong ya :)

    xoxo

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  107. oohh dearrr....from fb last nite i sensed something is not rite. alamak takde harapangs la mek nak menang perfume tu kaann coz part of it nak tau progress of your suppose to be *you know what* ahhahahha.

    wokeh on a serious note...its his lost and not yours. therefore, please move on and turn back no more! insyallah a better jodoh is somewhere out there for you. mak kita always cakap dulu 'awak tak payah susah payah carik jodoh...nanti dia datang la tu'...ahahhaha sudahnya sampai ari nih mek pun single lagi :) ehhh apa kena mengena plak kaann LOL

    also a fren pernah dengar nih in dato fadhilah kamsah punye talk...if you are so in pain just recite the full 'innalillah' and also cakap sesungguhnya aku redha ya allah..pasti ada yang lebih baik untukku...insyallah hati tuu dah tak rasa berat lagi...do try it out ya.

    last but not least...just be who you are...and do keep writing...idak kalu ngatuk mek kat opish lahling...nak2 time takde request ahhahhah sowie boss...buat dosa terang2 nihh...woraits...u taking care naahh...salam aidilfitri...maaf zahir batin...and oohh salam takziah to you and your family on the demised of your late grandmother.

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  108. psstt bertabah is a new malay vocab ekk? ahhahahah lama dah pencen tak pi skola

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  109. Pencinta ilmu16/8/12 12:46 AM

    Dear wani,

    B strong, yg baik itu dtg dr Allah & yg buruk itu dr kesilapan kite sendiri. Selalu bermuhasabah utk jadikan diri kite lebih baik & allah akan berikan yg baik. Jgn berhenti berdoa.

    I hope u still keep updating ur blog ;) B strong sweetie set a goal & strive for it..

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  110. i've been your solent reader for few years right now. i've never been into that situation before (putus tunang) but mentally & financially abused YES!

    cheer up and embrace your life more. meet up with your best buddies or people who loves you more. That's helps alot i tell you.

    what has past just let it past. it makes us more matured & stronger. and also makes us makes a better judgement on other people too.

    right now i'm happy with somebody but at the same time abit careful then before. not his fault but xnak pisang berbuah 2 kali.

    but right now i'm extremely happy then before.

    hope you could find your happiness soon and cherish life more. always put a smile even when the heart is sore.

    have a cup of coffee and just laugh about the past =)

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  111. be strong kak wani. Allah has a better plan for you, InsyaAllah.

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  112. Salam

    Sedangkan putus cinta pun susah nak get over, move on... ini kan lagi putus tunang.

    I hope you'll stay strong... Betullah you cakap tu... walaupun kita tau ada hikmah tapi as humans, susah nak stop sedih and kenang and then sometimes ter-torture ourselves with the memories. All we can do is try and redha.

    InsyaAllah.

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  113. anonnoying kat atas2 tu memang sewel belaka ok?

    dear wani..saya ni pun silent reader awak..wani doa banyak2 ye..its not the end of the world pun..ramai lagi orang sayang awak..ur family, friends, silent readers, and the list goes on..so jangan banyak sangat bazirkan air mata untuk lelaki itu k? u're a strong girl, baik pulak tu..so insyaAllah Allah bagi yang lebih baik kalau awak bersabar :) k darling, selamat hari raya!! lepas ni jangan sedih2 dah k? hugs!

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  114. You have wonderful readers! Sebagai kakak Wani, I'd like to thank you for all your kind words to her because sometimes I'm at a loss for words to pujuk and kasi semangat.

    And yes cik adik, you deserve someone so much better! I knew something was not right the moment I met him for the 1st time. Instinct kakak kot. But anyways, I know you're recovering! :)

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  115. Salam Wani, you did the right thing...better putus dari teruskan hingga ke jinjang pelamin and merana later...Insyallh, Allah dah aturkan someone better for you.
    Guys like that not worth having...Most important is to look after yourself, your family and be happy..

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  116. Dear Wani, its hard to tell if you're down(and in his case, VERY) cause you never really tell bad news in your blog!Well I was kinda hoping that you would update about your wedding preps semua kan..but yea I agree that things ended now rather than being prolonged even after marriage and kids. Lagi messy!

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  117. Yakin pada Allah bukanlah mengharap terkabulnya segala harapan, Yakin pada Allah adalah meletakkan keredhaan pada ketentuan-Nya, Rasa bahagia dengan ujian walaupun perit, Air mata yg menitis terasa bernilai buat menyiram api neraka, Indahnya tarbiah Allah,tersiram rahmat dan hikmah, Diuji kita sebagai tanda sayang-Nya….

    kredit: http://akuislam.com/blog/kisah-tauladan/cinta-sampai-syurga/#ixzz1qqwMSMBS

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  118. hi wani..

    that is some nasty comment eyy??

    well..u know what..

    live like how you wanna live.

    people will never understand what you went thru.
    they talk tho but they never understand.
    sometimes they do understand but they chose not to..because they are..i dont know just people.

    be strong, cry when u feel like crying but never regret the past. cause that makes you stronger

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  119. Be strong wani.one day u will meet someone much better than him

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  120. Be strong wani.one day u will meet someone much better than him

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  121. people see ur appearance outside n decide abt u..but in reality every person will face their own obstacles..n wani percaya lah..one day when u look at back of ur life, u will realize that u ada satu kenangan yang sangat membantu dalam mematang kan u..n yes lelaki yang sangat sesuai dengan u akan dtg pada tepat masanya..insya allah..my best wishes for you dear..amin :)

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  122. I SO know the truth! Its okay wani.. sekarang pun allah dah tunjukkan.. Ditimpa2 kesusahan dia sekarang. biar padan muka dia. azab allah itu pedih.. Huh tu laaa, buat lagi org.. aniaya org, ambik duit org.. kurang ajar dgn org tua, muka tak malu betul.. ishh ishh... wani sabar k!

    I'm sure there's a huge reason behind all this and there's someone so much better for u out there! my prayers goes to u! *hugs u ketat2!*

    P/s: u doa je banyak2..doa org teraniaya ni dimakbulkan!

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  123. u did it! bravo!!!

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  124. terima kasih atas entry ni. i pun tengah hadapi benda yang sama. banyak yang bermain difikiran. buat masa ni i mampu istikharah dan mohon dikuatkan hati menempuh dugaan.

    tapi u memang strong. semoga u dapat yang terbaik dalam hidup u.

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  125. check your email hunney!

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  126. you are very tough, shazwani.. i hope i can face a similar situation with a smile on my face too..

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  127. This is what happening to me right now. I feel depressed. I dont kbow what to do. I feel useless. Ive tried so hard but everything goes nowhere im scared im sad somebody pls kill me.

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